Research Paper: 6 Things to Help Understand Change in Coaching

Nicholas Kittis._Research_PaperResearch Paper By Nicholas Kittis
(Inspirational Thought Leadership and Transformational Life Coach, CYPRUS)

Change

The only constant is change. Greek philosopher Heraclitus

We experience change daily – whether it’s weather change or unexpected meeting with important clients. And we all approach these changes differently depending on our personalities, life experiences, and expectations. The idea of Change is fascinating to me therefore I have decided to write my research paperwork about CHANGE, which I would like to explore on different levels – what is it change and its definition and change that happened within me since I became an ICA student and soon certified Coach to be.

Exploring what is change

Cambridge Dictionary defines CHANGE as the act of becoming different, or the result of something becoming different.

Change has been broadly discussed by many philosophers, scientists, economists, leaders, etc. But one of the greatest Greek philosophers Heraclitus had discovered the most accurate definition of the word Change yet in 500 BCE. The only constant changes.

Heraclitus claimed that the world is not to be identified with any particular substance, but rather with an ongoing process governed by the law of change. Heraclitus was the first Western philosopher to go beyond physical theory in search of metaphysical foundations and moral applications. According to Heraclitus, opposites are necessary for life, but they are unified in a system of balanced exchanges. https://iep.utm.edu/heraclit/

Heraclitus was known as the dark’’ philosopher, so-called because his writings were so difficult to understand to others and he compared most people’s understanding of those asleep.  To Heraclitus, only the philosopher, the one who pursued Truth, was fully awake and fully alive, and he seemed to consider himself the only philosopher of his times. His main claim is summed up in the phrase Panta Rhei (‘’life is flux’’) recognizing the essential, underlying essence of life as a change. Heraclitus yet then understood that in life nothing is permanent, nor it can be because the very nature of existence is change. CHANGE is not just a part of life in Heraclitus’s view but it is life itself. He also claimed that all things are brought into and pass out of existence through a clash of opposites that continually create and destroy.https://www.ancient.eu/Heraclitus_of_Ephesos/

Research Paper: 6 Things to Help Understand Change in Coaching 1My personal change

My personal experience working for more than 20 years with international teams in hotels and companies allowed me to learn a great understanding of human behavior and psychology. Through gained experienced I have noticed what it takes to be a great leader, how to motivate people, lead the team, and be successful in what you do. Moreover, I was given numerous opportunities for changing my employee’s perception from black to white and vice versa.

Assorted gurus suggest that coaching is an essential leadership behavior”. (The coaching habit Say less, ask more & change the way you lead forever, Michael Bungay Stanier, page 3). , Daniel Goleman, the psychologist and journalist who popularized the concept of emotional intelligence, put a stake in the ground more than 15 years ago in his Harvard Business Review article “Leadership that gets results”. He suggested that there are six essential leadership styles and coaching was one of them and it was shown to have a, markedly positive” impact on performance, climate (culture) and the bottom line. At the same time, it was the least-used leadership style. Why? Goleman wrote, “Many leaders told us that they don’t have time in this high-pressure economy for the slow and tedious work of teaching people and helping them grow. “ (The coaching habit Say less, ask more & change the way you lead forever, Michael Bungay Stanier, page 3).

I have decided to enroll to become a coach because the underlying philosophy behind coaching really felt very close to my beliefs – which we are resourceful and creative with energy, wisdom, ability, and genius waiting to be set in motion. Like Rumi said that everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.”  The idea of changing peoples’ lives and assisting them in their journey was so thriving.

This global pandemic has changed everything from the bottom to the top but regardless of all the negatives it also created many opportunities. Because I was out of my job for an uncertain amount of time I have decided to go through this journey called becoming a coach. Looking back to myself at the beginning of the year and now I have truly say that I have changed myself as well.

Oftentimes, change is experienced in an extremely uncomfortable way. Like for so many other people, the change that happened in 2020 was frightening to me as well, but I can firmly say that being an ICA student not only helped me to become a coach but also made a significant change within me.

Becoming a coach was one of the best things that changed my life for the better. The things that I learned in the ICA programs not only allowed me to become a coach but to become a better person as well. After I have experienced change I am looking forward to being able to assist others to go through this journey as well. I am certain now that anyone can move from place A to the desired place with the assistance of a coach.

Becoming a coach was a very grounding experience for me. As an executive I was always in a position to direct, consult, dedicate works therefore learning skills to become a coach was all new to me. Probably the most challenging part of all these studies was to unlearn old patterns and learn new ones.

The most significant lessons learned and skills in ICA studies:

1. The POWER OF CONFIDENCE – people have more trust when their outer behavior and appearance conveys confidence and authenticity and is in sync with intent. It is all about being comfortable and confident with who you are and allowing your real self to show up.

2. The POWER OF AWARENESS – Awareness is a state of being conscious of something. More specifically, is the ability to directly know and perceive, to feel, or to be cognizant of events’’ (Wikipedia). Awareness is knowing the patterns in our everyday life, understanding our beliefs, our mind, our spirit, our body. Self-awareness is a powerful tool to help us to live the life we always wanted rather than settling for whatever comes in the way.

3. The POWER OF ACTIVE LISTENING – The most significant coaching skill is your ability to listen and it is one of the most vital service coaches can provide., The quieter you become, the more you hear.’’ Ram Dass. , The art of listening is generally misunderstood as behavior and underrated as a skill (we should teach it in school). Good listener obtain a better understanding of people and situations, meaning they can respond to situations more effectively than someone who hasn’t.’’ (The Coaching Manual, Julie Starr, 4th Edition, page 71), Listening to someone is a way to increase your ability to influence and yet strangely we often forget that’’(The Coaching Manual, Julie Starr, 4th Edition, page 73) learning a skill of active listening allows the coach to acknowledge what is being said, restate messages and fully understand what is being said.  Deep and active listening goes beyond what is logically possible to achieve by listening to someone.

4. The POWER OF RELEASING JUDGEMENT – all human beings have one common goal – to be acknowledged. The opposite of acknowledgment is judgment. A strange thing happens when a person feels that he or she is being judged. The first response is to feel guilty. The power of releasing judgment during coaching is one of the most significant tools of helping a person to move on. Those who judge others usually justify it to themselves on the basis that the judgment has some basis in “truth” or “expertise”. When we are being judged, we go into defensive mode; we cease feeling comfortable, we stop listening, and worst of all, we begin to see the person judging us as someone capable of hurting us instead of someone we can trust. The only way we can truly assist anyone in a challenging process is by releasing all personal judgment and seeing him or her for the empowered being as they truly are.

5. POWERFUL QUESTIONS – The essence of coaching lies in helping others and unlocking their potential”(The coaching habit Say less, ask more & change the way you lead forever, Michael Bungay Stanier, page 7). What moves clients the most from one place to another is the powerful questions alongside silence, metaphor, and analogy.  Since the coach talking consists of about 20% during the session, the power lies in the direction that powerful questions take the client. , masterful coaches ask open, thought-provoking questions to understand the person. The questions force the client to think rather than provide the information they already know” (The HeArt of Laser-focused Coaching, Marion Franklin Ms, Mcc, page 67). Powerful questions can stop the inner conversation from thinking in its usual way. Interestingly, the question-and-answer methodology for discerning the truth is nothing new. It is commonly referred to as the Socratic method” and derives its name from the ancient Greek philosopher, Socrates. He would continuously pose questions to his listeners to trigger thinking. The questioning continued until the listeners provided the most logical answer to a particular problem and discovery followed. (ICA papers)

6. The POWER OF VISUALISATION – The term visualization today is very widely used. John Assafar, one of the leading mindset and behavior experts in the world said that, Visualize an outcome you want over and over again to build, cells of recognition’’ in your memory bank. When you continuously focus on an image in your mind, every cell in your body is involved in that image and you vibrate and resonate with everything that is in harmony with that frequency both on a physical and non-physical level.

Conclusions

Whether we look into history or even into todays’ events, we can understand that the world is constantly changing and everything within it. We cannot escape the change and we shouldn’t because most of the time change creates space for growth.

Becoming a coach has thought me so many new skills, that some people naturally have and some people need to learn (e.g.learning how to listen actively). These new skills helped me to profoundly change my character and built new, better habits.

During the coaching sessions with my peer coaches, I have witnessed so many remarkable changes where the biggest change first happens in ones’ mind.  I am so grateful that I had an opportunity to become a coach and I can change people’s lives whether it’s a small decision of buying a new bag or making a lifetime decision to change career or break up with another half. Being able to touch peoples’ hearts and assist them in the direction that only their hearts know is beyond any title that one can obtain.

References

https://iep.utm.edu/heraclit/ (accessed 12.2020)

https://www.ancient.eu/Heraclitus_of_Ephesos/(accessed 12.2020)

Wikipedia

The Coaching Manual, Julie Starr

The Coaching Habit Say less, ask more & change the way you lead forever, Michael Bungay Stanier

The HeArt of Laser-focused Coaching, Marion Franklin, Ms, MCC

Original source: https://coachcampus.com/coach-portfolios/research-papers/nicholas-kittis-change-in-coaching/

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